This is what we all need

Just think, we could be free of disease without medicine. Medicine just relieves symptoms and often causes other problems. What if there was a simple way to solve most of your health problems with food? Would you change? What Americans are eating today is killing them. I want to share my knowledge with everyone, but this is the best I can do for now. For the time being, check out this petition. It's a step in the right direction. Obama's health care "plan" is not the way to go. It's all wrong. We just need to take care of ourselves by eating the right foods and exercising.



I'm the first to admit that the sadness and irritation I've felt this last month and a half have been because I started eating junk food again to soothe my emotional pain. Once I cut it out again, I'm feeling much better. Read The China Study, ask me for more info, or do something. We don't have to suffer. It's our own choice. I'd rather live a long and healthy life than die early from eating processed, dead food. The health problems I created for myself by eating poorly all went away when I eat right(except the RA, I still don't know what to do with autoimmune diseases. They are tricky. I just know to stay away from milk!).

Check it out. I'm through with my sermon. :)

Oh, boy!

100mg of Clomid! Yikes! I'm transforming into a monster! When I took it for a couple of months in 2007 to get my hormones back in balance, I was so cranky. I've only taken two doses and I'm already all snippy. I have a headache and I can't count the number of times I've snapped at people. I also caught myself whining. I must get a hold of myself! Isn't there an easier way of checking my egg reserves?

I went to a fertility specialist last week and he decided to do this clomid challenge. Somehow, it's more involved than just measuring FSH on CD3. I also have a 2 hour glucose test and an SSG on Tuesday. Bryant will be doing a chromosome test that day. No SA because he's had that done already. Men have it so easy. Blech!

I was chastised by my boss yesterday. Apparently, with the sausage I had where my thumb was supposed to be, I couldn't type for 5-6 hours each day. And since I'm an airhead, I forgot to contact my team lead to tell her I couldn't work. Oh, well. I won't forget again. My attitude still stinks. And my thumb still hurts. The cortisone shot hurt like heck and made it worse. It's still swollen. I'm hoping it will just take a couple more days to get better. I'm getting pretty good hitting the spacebar with my left thumb.

Bryant and I have decided that we don't need to live here anymore. I could write a novel about why we don't like living in SLC. Where are we going? No idea. Guess we'll have to keep praying and thinking. Idaho sounds good to both of us. We just have to go somewhere that he can find a good paying job. I still think that guy at BYU-I is an idiot for passing him over. There were things I still needed to learn here, like the raw foods stuff and giving up meat. That's probably why he didn't get the job, but we still would rather be in Rexburg. I wish he'd get a job with the church ICS dept. down in Riverton. I wouldn't mind living in the south part of the valley again. Stay tuned. We'll figure out something.

Awesome Dreams

I have felt like a complete failure at my attempts to be a mother. Yesterday morning, after having endured a terrible Saturday at the ER at the big IHC Hospital in Murray undergoing all kinds of tests for a heart attack and then blood clots, I had a mini-breakdown about time church was starting. Don't worry, I'm ok. Most likely, it was an anxiety attack, brought on by my heartbreak over losing another baby. Anyhow, I started bawling and telling Bryant that I was a failure. He offered much support and assurance that I was in no way a failure. I have such a wonderful husband.

Well, as he held me after I stopped crying, I fell asleep. I have this brief memory of seeing B get a little boy out of our car. He was about a year old. He was gorgeous. He had curly reddish brown hair and looked exactly like B in the face. I went over to take him from his dad. The sun was shining and we were surrounded by nature. I felt such peace and happiness. It was such a special moment when I woke up and realized what I had seen.

This morning, I was exhausted from our getting home so late last night. I stayed in bed when B went to work. I had another dream. I was lying in bed, trying to get a quick nap. I guess I had dozed off, because I woke up to see B standing by a crib that was against the wall by our bed. He had come home for lunch. I got up and walked over to him as we looked at our little newborn. He had curly brown hair. We gazed at him with so much love. I laughed and said, "He sleeps all the time. We never get to play with him. Of course, that should change soon."

I can't tell you how much peace those dreams have brought me. I have never had so many vivid dreams about babies. Especially that I can remember so many details. Whenever I get stressed out about my losses, I need to focus on this hope. I'm sure the dreams were given to me to help me find that hope again.