I got my life back...again

I've been wanting to blog for quite a while. The problem is that I have to spend most of the little time I have online reading updates or something because my laptop is hooked up to the TV and all I have is a mouse hooked up to it. I don't have an extra keyboard and laptops and babies don't really mix. It's either Rebecca or the laptop on my lap.

I started drinking this stuff called Reliv(e) in March after meeting several people who have RA and said that the stuff gave them their lives back. I also talked to a few people on the phone about it. Within a week, my allergies were better and my IBS was gone. That was great, but I was taking it to get rid of the awful pain of RA. My friends told me that it may take some time because it was working on other stuff first. After another week, I noticed my shoulders didn't hurt anymore and my knees were getting better. But my hands and my energy level were still awful. And if I walked for exercise or cleaned the apartment, I hurt the next day. This went on for a little while. I wondered if the supplements were really going to help me. I ran out of the stuff while waiting for another order to get here and the IBS started to bother me again and I started hurting again. OK. So, it seems to be working.

I finally figured out (or remembered, because I already knew this) that my diet wasn't helping. I was eating sugar and dairy again. Sugar is in everything. It's ridiculous. I was also eating lunchmeats because I was craving sub sandwiches. I think it was for all the veggies I put on mine. The additives were killing me. I decided on Mother's Day weekend that all this crap had to go. That Monday was my first day without sugar, additives and dairy. I did really well on Monday. But, Bryant brought home cookies on Tuesday and we went to a friend's baby's first birthday party on Wednesday and I ate cake and ice cream. Blech. I felt awful.

OK. I started over. I haven't had sugar now for over a week. I haven't had Advil for over two weeks. I took a couple of Goody's powders last week because the detoxing gave me a headache for a couple of days. Now that I've gotten the crap out of my system, I feel like a new woman. I haven't felt this good since I was pregnant. The RA pain is gone from everywhere in my body except my hands. I imagine that my hands will take quite a while because they have been horrible. And that pain is tolerable. I can actually make a fist again. And I have so much energy! I can't stand just sitting. Rebecca and I go for walks every day. I've managed to get the kitchen looking half decent. And I don't hurt. I don't hurt. It brings tears to my eyes. For the first time since the flair started, I feel good. I haven't felt good physically since Rebecca was born. I got rid of the pain from the c-section and the flair hit me right after that. It hit me like an 18 wheeler going 90. There was no warning, no gradual pain returning. It just hit me.

I saw my old supervisor the other day. I finally felt like going to see her. She'd been wanting to meet Rebecca for a long time. She told me that I look radiant, like I was fulfilled. I told her that so much has changed and she couldn't be more right. I'm no longer wallowing in the grief of 4 miscarriages. I'm still sad that I lost those babies, but I have Rebecca to look after now. I also have the most wonderful husband ever. My self-esteem is higher than ever and I am grateful to my Lord for helping me get to where I am now.

I don't know how much weight I've lost, but my clothes are baggy. I'll weigh on Monday to see. I have come so far in a short amount of time. I can hardly wait until I am able to run. Rebecca will not remember me as her fat mommy. She'll only know me as her skinny mommy if I have anything to say about it. :)