Changes again

My doctor sent me to a dietitian last month when I refused blood pressure meds without trying to make other changes first. I've lost 15 pounds. And the doctor said it's okay because I was worried about losing so much while pregnant. He expects me to lose more. As far as my blood pressure, the top number has gone way down, but the bottom number hasn't budged. He didn't say anymore about taking meds. I hope it keeps getting better. I don't want to take meds and I don't want serious problems.

Joyeux Noel

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Something I realized today.

I think that, to a degree, I took for granted the thoughtfulness of our friends and neighbors in Salt Lake who brought us cookies, cards or other goodies for Christmas. I guess you don't know what you got til it's gone. Especially since all the neighbors here brought Bryant's family 6 cookies or cupcakes. That's just enough for them. I don't want the sweets, but to be remembered would have been nice. And yes, they all know we're living here.

This blog was formerly called, "Candice's TTC/Weight Loss Journey." My TTC Journey is on hold while I work on my Weight Loss Journey. I have two beautiful children and a handsome husband that I am getting healthy for so that we will have many years together.

Skeptical

My inlaws have a Wii and a Wii Fit. I hate how the thing makes you weigh everyday because it will tell me that I've gained 3 pounds in one day. Then it will ask me what the reason for my weight gain is. OK. Well, I didn't eat enough to gain weight. Nor did I eat anything that would make me hold 3 pounds of water. So, the only reason I can think of is that you're a piece of junk. But, you don't give me that option. So, I say, "I don't know." Then it says, "Let's review a little about how nutrition works," or some nonsense like that. I already know how nutrition works. I know more about nutrition and exercise than most people. I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds. I've read lots of articles and I even went through a home course to be a trainer. So, don't tell me that you're going to teach me something I don't already know. I know that I don't know everything, but I'm sure that Nintendo didn't program their Wii Fit to contain more information than my brain already has.

What? You think that just because I'm very overweight that I can't know much about being healthy? Bah. Just because you have knowledge doesn't mean you always use it. I know I shouldn't eat certain foods, but I'm human and I fail a lot. Otherwise, I wouldn't been in this predicament.

Well, I've been doing very well lately. It's pretty much come down to my eating healthy and losing weight or continue to have problems with my RA and gain some other problems that I don't have and don't want. I realized the other week that my mama was my age when she developed diabetes. I want absolutely nothing to do with that. I actually get frustrated with people who just automatically thought that I would get gestational diabetes because I was pregnant and overweight. I didn't get it. What I ended up with Nathan was gestational hypertension. High blood pressure runs rampant in my family. I don't want that. Considering my BP was always on the low side of normal, I'm really surprised that it ran so much higher in both my pregnancies.

So, coming back to my original thoughts, my scale is packed away in some box somewhere in our storage unit. If I want to know if I've lost weight, I have to use the Wii Fit. I weighed a few days after I made my changes to my eating habits and it said I lost 7 pounds. My clothes are much looser on me and even my husband has commented (without my mentioning it) that I have lost inches. So then, I weighed again last week and it said I gained 2 pounds. Whatever. Now, I'm scared to weigh. I don't want it to say that I've gained again. PITA. I hate the thing. If I could find my measuring tape, I would just go by inches.

I have a long way to go. I hate BMI, too. You can't tell me that when I worked with my old trainer and had lost all that weight and weighed 189 pounds that I was obese. I told him that I wanted to lose 50 more pounds and he laughed at me. He said there was no way I could lose that much. Maybe 20 pounds. BMI is not a one size fits all. There are some people with more lean body mass than others. I've always been strong. So, getting to 134 pounds for me is laughable. No BMI. You're BS. I'm thinking if I get down to 170, I'm doing good. I probably won't have the muscle I had in '03, but I'll be close enough.

Wish me luck. I really want to weigh. I expect that I've lost at least 5 more pounds, but the Wii Fit probably will say I've gained 5. I'll just wait until we unpack and use my scale.

Anybody There?

Does anyone still read this blog? I just looked at it and realized that I hadn't posted here in almost a year. If you still read it, will you post a quick comment? I'm curious.

I thought that since this is my weight loss blog, I'd unload a little here. I've been struggling a lot the past few months with stress and my RA. I've felt horrible. I just figured out that it must be nutrition. I just took some Reliv for the first time in months and I already feel better. I was feeling terrible today.

Anyway, I wonder if it will help me lose weight? Right after Rebecca was born, the weight I gained during the pregnancy came right off. Not so this time. I lost all by 10 pounds (I only gained 23) but I gained some back. I guess it doesn't help how stressed I've been. I need to eat better. I've had too many sweets.

I'm not sleeping well, either. We're all in one room, so between my being uncomfortable, Rebecca fussing a little in the middle of the night and Nathan needing to be fed, I don't sleep. Honestly, the kids don't bother me. The pain and being uncomfortable are what bother me.

Oh well. What does it matter, anyway? I feel like nobody cares. At least nobody by my wonderful husband. I just pray that he gets the job at Snow College so we can get out of this house into a place of our own again. That will do miracles for me.

Busy, busy, busy

I'm actually sitting here on my desktop PC today. That doesn't happen often. I got up at 8am, fed Rebecca, gave her back to her dad (who was still in bed), went to water aerobics and came home to find that Daddy and daughter are sound asleep. It's really nice to have this time to myself and my thoughts.

What are my thoughts? Well, one of them is that I'm craving sausage biscuits from Carl's Jr. They have Hardee's biscuits now. Of course, it's too late to go get one. But, I should not be eating them anyway. I figure they will just make me sick. I can't eat junk food anymore. I don't know how in the world I used to eat that way all the time.

No matter what I did, I couldn't get the pain in my hands to go away. I had a blessing on August 1 from a very dear friend from SC. It was a beautiful blessing. In it, he said that I would be healthy, my body would be strong and my immune system would function properly. During the blessing, I felt the pain leaving my hands. By the next day, it was completely gone. How grateful I am for that. My RA is completely in remission now. I pray that it stays that way for good.

I've been learning a lot of lessons the past several months. I think that being a parent must accelerate those lessons. For the most part, I haven't been getting upset over small stuff. I have looked for the good in people instead of always seeing the bad. That takes a lot of effort, especially with some people who just beg to offend others by not watching their tongues or are always judging without knowing what they're seeing. These are my challenges. Loving others is something else I'm working on. Some people just make it hard to love them. And some days, I just don't feel like loving people. But, I have made progress. I can't perfect these things overnight. I'll just keep plugging along.

Onward and upward. :)

Beyond Disappointment

People may say that it's silly to be so upset about an election. It doesn't really matter to me what those people think. I chose to believe in a man who is honest, who chose to continue to run on his own merits instead of turning the tables on his opponent when his opponent started running a negative campaign where he lied about Tim supporting things that he did not. And after this opponent was supplied with proof that his accusations were unfounded, he did not back down. He continued to run the ads. People believed him, apparently. I can't believe Tim lost. We need him. We don't need another lawyer who is looking after his own interests. At the moment, I can't even believe that he'll listen to his constituents any better than his predecessor did. This man even flaunted his religion to get votes. I don't give a rat's hiney if he's LDS or not.

I can't even believe the reasons some people vote for a certain candidate. Flip a coin - REALLY? You've got to be kidding me. Because his campaign called you fewer times? That's stupid or at the very least irrational. Because of the person's religion. OMGosh! I am so disappointed in these people. It's an insult to those of us who put our precious time into finding out what each candidate represents, going to rallies, meeting the candidates, watching debates and THEN deciding which one will better represent us.

I have a blue personality. I'm very sensitive. This means that I've been let down a lot and suffered a lot of heartache. I've tried to change that many times. But then, I figured out that my sensitivity allows me to be more empathetic and allows me to be more spiritual. I don't want that to change.

I'll eventually get over the disappointment, but it will take quite a bit of time. I can't vote for the lawyer in November. I doubt that will change unless I see some kind of penance from him. I'm not really worried about the Democratic candidate since Utah is so Republican. So, if I don't vote in that particular election in November, it won't make a difference. I just don't see any alternatives at this point. I know that Tim is backing his opponent for the good of the party, but I can't bring myself to that point. I'll vote for governor and the Congressional race, but not the Senate race.

Let's see, what's the bright side? Well, I don't really see one at the moment. I think I'll take a relaxing bath and try to sleep. Maybe things will look better in the morning.

I got my life back...again

I've been wanting to blog for quite a while. The problem is that I have to spend most of the little time I have online reading updates or something because my laptop is hooked up to the TV and all I have is a mouse hooked up to it. I don't have an extra keyboard and laptops and babies don't really mix. It's either Rebecca or the laptop on my lap.

I started drinking this stuff called Reliv(e) in March after meeting several people who have RA and said that the stuff gave them their lives back. I also talked to a few people on the phone about it. Within a week, my allergies were better and my IBS was gone. That was great, but I was taking it to get rid of the awful pain of RA. My friends told me that it may take some time because it was working on other stuff first. After another week, I noticed my shoulders didn't hurt anymore and my knees were getting better. But my hands and my energy level were still awful. And if I walked for exercise or cleaned the apartment, I hurt the next day. This went on for a little while. I wondered if the supplements were really going to help me. I ran out of the stuff while waiting for another order to get here and the IBS started to bother me again and I started hurting again. OK. So, it seems to be working.

I finally figured out (or remembered, because I already knew this) that my diet wasn't helping. I was eating sugar and dairy again. Sugar is in everything. It's ridiculous. I was also eating lunchmeats because I was craving sub sandwiches. I think it was for all the veggies I put on mine. The additives were killing me. I decided on Mother's Day weekend that all this crap had to go. That Monday was my first day without sugar, additives and dairy. I did really well on Monday. But, Bryant brought home cookies on Tuesday and we went to a friend's baby's first birthday party on Wednesday and I ate cake and ice cream. Blech. I felt awful.

OK. I started over. I haven't had sugar now for over a week. I haven't had Advil for over two weeks. I took a couple of Goody's powders last week because the detoxing gave me a headache for a couple of days. Now that I've gotten the crap out of my system, I feel like a new woman. I haven't felt this good since I was pregnant. The RA pain is gone from everywhere in my body except my hands. I imagine that my hands will take quite a while because they have been horrible. And that pain is tolerable. I can actually make a fist again. And I have so much energy! I can't stand just sitting. Rebecca and I go for walks every day. I've managed to get the kitchen looking half decent. And I don't hurt. I don't hurt. It brings tears to my eyes. For the first time since the flair started, I feel good. I haven't felt good physically since Rebecca was born. I got rid of the pain from the c-section and the flair hit me right after that. It hit me like an 18 wheeler going 90. There was no warning, no gradual pain returning. It just hit me.

I saw my old supervisor the other day. I finally felt like going to see her. She'd been wanting to meet Rebecca for a long time. She told me that I look radiant, like I was fulfilled. I told her that so much has changed and she couldn't be more right. I'm no longer wallowing in the grief of 4 miscarriages. I'm still sad that I lost those babies, but I have Rebecca to look after now. I also have the most wonderful husband ever. My self-esteem is higher than ever and I am grateful to my Lord for helping me get to where I am now.

I don't know how much weight I've lost, but my clothes are baggy. I'll weigh on Monday to see. I have come so far in a short amount of time. I can hardly wait until I am able to run. Rebecca will not remember me as her fat mommy. She'll only know me as her skinny mommy if I have anything to say about it. :)

Almost 2 weeks

I started the cleanse a week and a half ago. I lost 10 lbs last week! I don't quite expect the same success this week. I ate some beans, a wheat tortilla and a white bun the past couple of days. Bummer. I could've slipped up worse. At least it wasn't ice cream or something like that. I'm going to not add that stuff back until a day or two later than I would have.

My RA has improved so much. I went three days last week without taking anything. I've gone a day here and there since. I've just had some flares with all the unsettled fronts we've been getting. Today is the first one we've actually gotten any precipitation out of. It hasn't been as bad as it was. Previously, it was my entire body. Now, it's just a shoulder or a knee. The problem with my shoulders is that I have a hard time lifting the Sweet Pea. I am so happy about the progress I've made!

I'm excited because I get to have my hair done on Saturday. I also am getting a new dress. This weekend is going to be so busy. We have to get ready for the blessing luncheon on Sunday. Why do I always get nervous when I know I'm going to be around Bryant's family? I'm so glad that I'll have friends there, too.

I can't believe that Rebecca is almost 10 weeks old. Time surely has flown.

Another One of Those Days

I woke up in moderate pain this morning. Still much better than the severe pain I had experienced for 4 weeks, but bad enough that I broke down and took some Naproxin. Hey, 3 days without it or Advil was awesome! Hopefully, the next time will be 5 days or more. I'm pretty sure it's the storm that moved in yesterday.

I've been stressing out because of Rebecca's baby blessing meal on Mar. 7. The Jewkes family always has a get-together for a meal after a baby blessing. I have no idea what to do. I've never fed that many people.

I woke up mourning the relationships I've lost over the past year. I couldn't stop thinking about them. It hurts my heart. I quickly read the status updates in FB and then checked my email. I had an email from my best friend from high school. We've had our ups and downs over the years of HS and a little while after that. We lost touch somewhere along the way. I remember feeling like she hated me for some reason. We were so close at one time and then things just went sour. I haven't talked to her in years. She asked me to forgive her for the things that she said and did and for losing touch. We both are totally different people now. I am going to write her back and embrace her. I just don't know what to say. I'll need a little time. I just can't believe that someone actually apologized to me and asked for my forgiveness. That's a rare thing in my life. Usually, people just say or do whatever they want to me and don't give a darn about how it makes me feel. I am humbled.

It further reaffirms my belief that if you truly want to keep a friendship, you will communicate and try to understand what the other person is thinking instead of jumping to conclusions. I am truly grateful for the friends I have who don't judge. The ones who don't make me feel like I always owe them an explanation. The ones who truly understand me and make that effort. I hope I can be as good of a friend as they are to me. I just need to believe that people do love me and not doubt that.

Maybe it's not going to be "one of those days," after all.

Rambling

This is the birth announcement. Bryant did it. I think he did a great job!

I was thinking the other day that I am going to keep this blog so that I can get stuff off my mind about me. Our family blog is mostly about Rebecca. In case you haven't visited that blog, Rebecca was born December 27, 2009 at 2:12am. She was 8 lbs 7 oz and 22 inches long. She is my little cutie. I am not sure how I can love someone so much (I feel that way about Bryant, too). I'm so grateful for her and for the strength I've been blessed with to make it through these past several weeks. I have enjoyed every moment with her, even the hard ones. They are being treasured up in my heart, in pictures and recorded on video. ;)

About 4 weeks ago, I was thinking about how glad I was that I hadn't had an RA flare. The next day - boom! I woke up and couldn't move my fingers. Great. Over the past few 4 weeks, it's just gotten worse and worse. My trainer I've worked with in the past said he had a way to wipe RA out. He told Bryant that before the baby was born. I called him last week and he came over. He said that since I'm still nursing, it would be best to do the Life Force, or Candida Cleanse again. I did it in 2008 and my RA pain went away. The other option is something I can't do while I'm nursing. So, I'm going to start that cleanse tomorrow. If that doesn't do the trick, I'll do the other one after I'm done nursing.

I'm all stoked about doing this cleanse and saying goodbye to this RA pain. I'm sick of not being able to do anything. It's in my knees, my ankles, my feet, my hips, my shoulders. I have been living on Advil. Without it, I couldn't function. So, then Bryant came home with a cold last Monday. And I caught it. I can't remember the last time I had a cold. I usually keep them away by drinking lots of water and rinsing my sinuses. I guess I didn't have enough water the past couple of days and the lack of sleep makes a person vulnerable. Bryant doesn't usually get colds, either. But, I remember him having a couple of colds since we got married and I didn't get them.

I have a beautiful family. Bryant and I have been learning to take care of our beautiful little girl and rolling with the punches. She's precious. One of the best experiences I've had was the other day. I had her in her little papasan chair beside the couch while I watched The Doctors. I started talking to her and her eyes started darting around looking for me. She finally turned her head toward me and when she saw me, she had the biggest grin on her little face! It was like she said, "There you are Mommy!"

I need a new ticker to keep up with the weight loss that's coming. I've already lost 30 lbs. I've fluctuated up and down a few pounds the last several weeks. I am so excited about this!!!!!!

Getting my thoughts out

For some reason, I want to write thoughts down. I don't know what thoughts, though. They come and go so quickly that I forget what they are. I'll just type as I think. It may end up being very random.

I had my 32 week appt. today. It went really well. I gave her my birth plan. I was relieved to hear that the things I want are pretty typical practice for her and the hospital. I'm hoping to get the swine flu vaccine tomorrow. The clinics that most of the county health departments in Utah have been a joke. My OB said so, too. The hospital is giving the shots for high risk people but they have to have the paperwork from their doctor. She faxed that over today. I hope I can get one. My inlaws won't be happy about it, but that's ok. I have several risk factors - pregnancy, immunosuppressive therapy, RA and a past history of asthma, which makes bronchitis very likely if I contract the flu. I've gotten the flu vaccine every year for the past 14 years, except one. And the one year I didn't get it, I ended up with bronchitis twice. I've researched the vaccine so much that I know I've made a very informed decision to get it. Bryant mentioned that to them, but that didn't stop them from trying to dissuade us from getting it.

The baby's heartbeat is very strong and she's kicking up a storm. I think she likes upbeat country music, plus the theme song to Stargate SG-1. It's like she starts dancing when it plays. We've been watching it a lot because we're addicted to it. It's not like we have a nursery to create. Nope, we just sit there watching SG-1, anticipating TealC's cocked eyebrow or O-Neill's wise cracks while fighting the Ga'ould or some other alien that they come across during that episode. I think little Rebecca doesn't have a chance. She's going to be a Sci-Fi fan if we have anything to do with it. LOL!

We've slowly started the process of completely rearranging the office. We're going to limit our office to less than half of the second bedroom, while making the rest into the baby's nursery. Hopefully, we'll have our own place by the time she's big enough to need her own room. It's quite a task. Bryant has computer stuff everywhere. I took before pictures. I can hardly wait to get the crib put together. We need a rocking chair. I don't like gliders. I actually get sick from gliding in them.

I've been having truly bizarre dreams. I've read that it's normal and my OB told me so, too. I dreamed the other night that we decided to take the baby out to see what she looks like and then put her back. When we went to put her back, she wouldn't go back. My OB laughed and said, "Someone's having some anxiety!" I didn't think I was. I mean, part of me wants her here right now and part of me is willing to wait until it's closer because I'm not quite ready. But, I don't feel stressed about the baby. I guess I've stressed a little about being a good mother and being able to handle it. But, deep down, I know I will. Bryant was the one stressing out. But, I think that was before so many friends (and my dad) have pitched in and given or bought us all the big stuff, so it was basically a financial worry. He's fine now. IDK.

I even feel confident that I can handle labor without intervention. I don't like medicine at all and really don't want the side effects of any pain medication. I mean, I've survived several gall bladder attacks. The pain was excruciating and it never let up and always lasted at least 18 hours. When I've described it to women who've had natural childbirth, they've said that it's like labor. But labor has at least a little bit of a break from time to time. From what I've read about labor, the worst part is transition. I know it will be painful, I'm not kidding myself. I guess that from all the stuff I've been through - the gall bladder, the RA, the IBS,etc, have prepared me. I have a relatively high tolerance for pain these days. I know that all the joint pain that has crippled me before I got the RA under control prepared me for the hip and round ligament pain I've endured these past few months. If it weren't for the RA pain, I don't know how I would've handled that.

I think I've rattled on and on for long enough. My brain is totally consumed with our baby. Bryant likes to joke that baby.exe is taking up my whole processor. That's exactly what it is.

MIA

I've been posting more on our family blog than here. If you want to see what I've posted there and don't have the link, here you go:

http://bandcjewkesfamily.blogspot.com/

I'll be back here. I just haven't had a whole lot of time to do both lately.

Happy Birthday, America!!!!!

I just can't say how proud I am to be an American! I'm so grateful for all the men and women who have sacrificed their lives, time, families, etc to protect our freedom. It brings a tear to my eye. The song by Toby Keith, American Soldier, comes to mind. God bless America and its people.

Feeling better

I started having a good day here and there. I've worked myself up to two good days this past weekend. Today, not quite as good. But, that's ok. I'm making progress and it's for the best cause I can think of.

I'm noticing that there are some changes in my body. My stomach pokes out more, but doesn't seem as wide. It's odd to me. My OB appointment went very well. She told me that I'm out of the woods and I don't have to go back for another month! After going every other week for so long, this is going to be interesting and maybe a little nerve wracking. She told me that I could gain up to 15 pounds. Eek. After losing 40, gaining 15 of it back and then losing 10 pounds since I found out I'm pregnant, I don't really want to gain 15 pounds. She said I could maintain. I'll be happy with that. When I weighed this morning, I'd lost .4 of a pound. I'm totally ok with that.

I enjoyed being able to eat this past weekend. A little more food has started to appeal to me. Not today, but it was nice to want hamburger stroganoff yesterday.

I quit my job over the weekend. I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did and so was Bryant. It's been very difficult being sick, but the fact that the computer made me sicker, it was almost impossible. I was always stressed out. I felt much better after quitting, too. I felt a great weight lifted off of me. I was surprised that it took me only 6 months to get as stressed out with this job as I got in my job with the Church took me 3 1/2 years to get to that point. Well, it's over. All I have to do is take my computer, pager and badge down to Draper and I am not going to worry about it ever again.

I wonder when I'll start to feel the baby. I know that he's dancing around in there. That's what he was doing on Friday when my OB did an ultrasound. Bryant said it was like he was saying, "Look at me, I'm on TV!" As my friend Cece said, he's a show off already! :) Now, I can enjoy my pregnancy and not worry about work stressing me out so much.

It's good to be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Thoughts

I haven't been complaining about my morning sickness or other discomforts of pregnancy. I'm just stating what I'm experiencing. I had a few days of reprieve this past week, at least until Thursday afternoon. It came back with a vengeance. What do I have to say about that? At least I know that the baby's ok. :)

According to my pregnancy calendar, the baby is now a fetus. That's a relief! I've also been wondering if I have to actually be 13 weeks pregnant before I reach the second trimester. I don't know if I truly understand how that works. My pregnancy calendar listed 3 different ways of figuring it out. According to the Developmental way, I'll start the second trimester on June 9. I'm all for that. It means that I have a week from Tuesday! That's at 12 weeks, starting my 13th week.

We braved Wal Mart downtown early this afternoon so that we could get me some grits. I've been craving grits. It's the only place I knew for sure that I had seen them out here. We went ahead and got our water from there, too. While Bryant was filling up our water jugs, I went and looked at baby stuff for the first time. I really enjoyed it, at least until a bunch of people started crowding me. Then, I had to show Bryant. It's really starting to feel like it's real and I'm keeping up the positve thoughts about delivering the baby and bringing him/her home in December.

I'm having the weirdest dreams. I guess that's normal. I already had weird dreams, but now they've reached a new level. And I'm trying to convince myself to quit looking at the toilet paper every time I go to the bathroom. I wore myself out pushing the buggy with 15 gallons of water and all the other groceries all over the store.

Gatorade has become my new best friend. Water doesn't sit well on my stomach. But, the Gatorade works really well. At least I'm staying hydrated. I was so excited that we found the blue Glacier kind in powder today. It's much cheaper than buying the bottles.

I'm quite content and happy. Even though I've had to give in and eat meat occasionally. I already had a hard time staying away from eggs and cheese, so I was allowing myself one day I could have stuff with eggs or cheese. Now, it's pretty much all the time. Boiled eggs have been good to me. And we had lasagna today. It was the 5 cheese kind that I found at Wal Mart. It was the best stuff! I'll have to get that again.

Quick Update

I thought I would update in case there is anyone out there wondering how I'm doing. :)

I'm 10 weeks today. We've had a total of 3 ultrasounds and each time, the baby's heartbeat went up. It started at 115, then was 136 and the last one on the 20th, it was 175! We're so happy! The doctor thinks that the baby is doing perfect and that, with my history of early losses and how well the baby is doing now, I have a 99% chance of having a full-term baby. He was so impressed, that after our appointment and ultrasound on June 4, he's going to release me back to my regular OB. That's such a relief to me! I didn't like having to see a high risk doctor. I know it's because of my previous losses and I want to do everything I can to have this baby. My OB is 3 miles away and we wanted to have the baby at LDS Hospital, since it's about 2 miles away instead of driving all the way to Murray when it can take forever to get there, depending on the time of day.

I've struggled with morning sickness and haven't been on the computer much. Actually, it turned into all day sickness, with it being worst at nights. It still is worse at night, but it's not nearly as bad. I'm really grateful for the reprieve. I'm still wiped out. In fact, I'm going to bed right now. :)

I think I'm ready

Since we've told all our parents and grandparents, and things are going really great this time, I think I'm ready to blog about how we're getting the best Christmas present ever! I'm pregnant and we're due just before Christmas!

Last Thursday, we went to my RE's office for an ultrasound. I had been praying that we'd see the heartbeat (even though it was still kind of early, 6weeks 2days) and that the baby would be measuring ahead. Guess what!?! We got to see and hear the precious heartbeat - 115bpm, which is very good. And the baby was measuring 6weeks 5days - 3 days ahead!

We feel very optimistic this time around. We've never made it this far. The farthest we've gotten was with the first one. We thought we were over 7 weeks, but the ultrasound showed that the baby hadn't developed much over 5. To see and hear the heartbeat made me bawl like a baby. We're so happy. This one is going to make it.

My due date, according to my chart or cycle, was December 22. But with the baby measuring ahead, it's now December 19. That will give us a little more time to have the baby and get home by Christmas. lol But, I expect the baby will come when he or she's ready. Bryant joked that we've put in our order with the stork and asked for a boy, but either will do nicely. I have a feeling he's a boy, but I am not sure. I really don't care. I just want a healthy baby to hold in my arms come December.

I'm supposed to be working, but I'm struggling with that. I've had a lot of nausea and fatigue. Combine that with pregnancy brain and I'm in a lot of trouble. I can't think of or remember anything lately. I feel like if I just stayed in bed, I'd be doing good.

Today, I'm 7weeks 2 days. Less than 5 weeks until I'm in the 2nd trimester. I'm seeing a maternal fetal medicine doctor. I have another appointment with him and an ultrasound tomorrow. I'm excited to see what he says.

This is going to be a crazy week. Josh is getting married on Friday. Mandy, his fiance, is getting her endowment in the Provo Temple tomorrow and G&G Duerden are supposed to be staying with us Wednesday night. No house cleaning got done over the weekend. Can anyone come help? Between the smell of the dishes and the super tiredness, I can't get anything done anymore. And I'm so happy for all of it!

This is what we all need

Just think, we could be free of disease without medicine. Medicine just relieves symptoms and often causes other problems. What if there was a simple way to solve most of your health problems with food? Would you change? What Americans are eating today is killing them. I want to share my knowledge with everyone, but this is the best I can do for now. For the time being, check out this petition. It's a step in the right direction. Obama's health care "plan" is not the way to go. It's all wrong. We just need to take care of ourselves by eating the right foods and exercising.



I'm the first to admit that the sadness and irritation I've felt this last month and a half have been because I started eating junk food again to soothe my emotional pain. Once I cut it out again, I'm feeling much better. Read The China Study, ask me for more info, or do something. We don't have to suffer. It's our own choice. I'd rather live a long and healthy life than die early from eating processed, dead food. The health problems I created for myself by eating poorly all went away when I eat right(except the RA, I still don't know what to do with autoimmune diseases. They are tricky. I just know to stay away from milk!).

Check it out. I'm through with my sermon. :)

Oh, boy!

100mg of Clomid! Yikes! I'm transforming into a monster! When I took it for a couple of months in 2007 to get my hormones back in balance, I was so cranky. I've only taken two doses and I'm already all snippy. I have a headache and I can't count the number of times I've snapped at people. I also caught myself whining. I must get a hold of myself! Isn't there an easier way of checking my egg reserves?

I went to a fertility specialist last week and he decided to do this clomid challenge. Somehow, it's more involved than just measuring FSH on CD3. I also have a 2 hour glucose test and an SSG on Tuesday. Bryant will be doing a chromosome test that day. No SA because he's had that done already. Men have it so easy. Blech!

I was chastised by my boss yesterday. Apparently, with the sausage I had where my thumb was supposed to be, I couldn't type for 5-6 hours each day. And since I'm an airhead, I forgot to contact my team lead to tell her I couldn't work. Oh, well. I won't forget again. My attitude still stinks. And my thumb still hurts. The cortisone shot hurt like heck and made it worse. It's still swollen. I'm hoping it will just take a couple more days to get better. I'm getting pretty good hitting the spacebar with my left thumb.

Bryant and I have decided that we don't need to live here anymore. I could write a novel about why we don't like living in SLC. Where are we going? No idea. Guess we'll have to keep praying and thinking. Idaho sounds good to both of us. We just have to go somewhere that he can find a good paying job. I still think that guy at BYU-I is an idiot for passing him over. There were things I still needed to learn here, like the raw foods stuff and giving up meat. That's probably why he didn't get the job, but we still would rather be in Rexburg. I wish he'd get a job with the church ICS dept. down in Riverton. I wouldn't mind living in the south part of the valley again. Stay tuned. We'll figure out something.